Wednesday, May 31, 2006
so it's 31st May!yesterday wasn't quite a good day. well. at least for a few of my dearest friends.cheer up all right! whoever you are, you know it. i'll always be there for you guys!today! is PEISHI LAOGONG'S BIRTHDAY! Happy Birthday dear! hahaha. i'm straight though.hope you love the present that Iron12-1 gave you!forget about the unhappy stuff that happened, cos today's YOUR DAY.must must enjoy yeah?!dear girl, though today's not my birthday, i would like to wish for something..and that is your happiness that will last forever.it hurts to see you tear and pull a long face.just remember that there'll always be sunshine after the rainwhenever you need helpyou know that there are 11 pillars for you to lean onlook on the brighter side of lifesmiledon't frownif there's one thing that i could steal from youi'd let it be your unhappinessyours, Moomoo.will you make my early birthday wish come true..?
1:24 AM
Sunday, May 28, 2006
so today was the 2nd Allcomers' Meet. Chuanmin and i did okay jumps i guess. improved from trainings but there's room for more. to all the athletes out there especially the carrots, WELL DONE EVERYONE! even if you're disappointed or what, it's still good effort. work all the way to Nationals this year, next, and the following. years to come. well.. still sad over friday.. i mean it's like i went home with this empty feeling within me. it was the last day of school, beginning of the holidays. meant to be happy, but no.on that very fateful day, our class sent off 4 teachers in a row. 4 teachers! all leaving on the same day! i mean.. goodness. i was devastated when i looked at their backview while they walked out of the classroom. especially Mr Phoon and Ms Chan. i was tearing all the way throughout her lesson. sighs. i've lost 4 teachers in a day, 5 in a week. is our class that detestable? why must all of them leave together? it's barely a week and i'm already missing the school, the teachers and my friends. lessons won't be the same without the teachers. goodness.. if you all have to leave on the last day of school, then i'd rather it not come at all. so lost.. so empty inside..i can still take it in the day.. but when it comes to the night, i'm all alone in my room.. the emotions come pouring in.. tears start forming.. what the earth.. ( trying not to be too crude ) just come back will you? sighs.. do visit us whenever you have the time.. though you all won't get to read this.. hai.. all the best and take care.. teachers.
8:23 PM
Friday, May 26, 2006
hai. i've never missed someone so much before..thanks for everything.. since sec1..i didn't know you've made such a great impact on me till today..you're the best..you've been great..take care..nothing can express my gratitude towards you..thanks..your patience..kindness..hope your neck gets well soon..sighslessons will never be the same without you..ahh.. too many things to tell youi don't know what or where to start from..today's handshake..was the first and probably the last one..it reminded me greatly of last year..the last day of schooli went around looking for 2G-ians..to shake hands and hug..then i would say " take care"..i said the same thing to you..hai..it was just so sudden..didn't have time to get you something..sorry for everything..i know i haven't been a good student to you..but you've been a very nice teacher to me..you'll never read this but..Miss Chan, THANK YOU.
8:55 PM
Sunday, May 21, 2006
sunday..i went to the playground this morning with my little sis and elder cousin while my mum was off to the market.. the playground near my grandma's place.. the playground with which i grew up. i went there every weekend with my cousins from about 4-5 years old to last year. yes last year. 14 years old. may be childish to some but i love it.life now's getting busier i don't even visit my grandma as often as i did, much less the playground.as i sat on the swing.. it was as if i've entered a completely different world. it brought back lots of memories. fond memories. i looked at those children.. nothing but envy on my part. missed the times when i played 'catching' and 'iceman' with my cousins.. or 'blindmice'.. ha on a side note, my 2-year-old sis seemed to have gotten herself a boyfriend.. hahaha. nah she was just playing with the only other kid in the playgroundit's been ages since i've smiled from the bottom of my heart.the playground is perhaps.. the only place where you won't get to see the ugly side of human nature. or at least the chances are minimised. that's how nice it can be.peace.. serenity..
10:37 PM
Saturday, May 20, 2006
haha. yesterday was Fann's birthday. Happy Belated Birthday girl! hope you like the gift that we got you. i bet those girls had a great time watching Da Vinci Code yesterday! haha. but the process of sneaking into the theatre was much much more exciting i suppose (: the way Fann described totally sounded like a thriller (:so today was the usual Saturday training.. ahaha. after that was NJ Funfair! was kinda fun down there but i soon got dizzy because there were so many people. thanks to Aaron who agreed to help us get the photo. thanks (: met quite a few familiar faces ( ex-Rvians and current ones ) there. Georgina and Alfreda went as well!hope Yankang will have a speedy recovery. poor guy. take care!day after day, i went to the counter to ask if my card was found. the uncle kindly asked around and got a stack of found cards. but without mine. sighs. i guess i'll have to go get a new one or else i'll be broke in no time. but to me my old one will never be replaced.life's like that. once you've lost some things, no matter how much you try to get it back, it won't come. so the point is to treasure what you have now. and take very very good care of it. yup.hai i don't know. nowadays quite troubled. especially after friday morning. good thing you guys are always there. you know who you are. thanks. hai. feel trapped but unsure of what's responsible for it. if only..life could be simplethings could be simplepeople could be simplethere would be no problemsgrr. that will never happen.i hope it will remain as it is. i don't want it to be affected by what's heard, what's seen and what's said. on the other hand, if it has become a burden, i'd rather it to not be there. now what do you think?friends.. for life.
9:28 PM
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
wednesday.. today was kinda slackMs Yew.. ( though she won't read this ) get well soon! today she came in with a pale face.. was so sick that she couldn't even finish writing the solution on the board.. take care.ahh.. every term is like that. i'll panick and break out in cold sweat. whatever they call it.. that is the consequence of not filing my worksheets regularly. always wait till the last minute. i've got to search for my worksheets from 2 thick stacks of papers. one is my file.. another will be the stack at home which i took out from my file last time. well done jade.. don't ever follow in my footsteps haha..i'm sorry Peishi.. felt very guilty after i've read your post. well i know it's no use apologising to you.. so the only way is to do what we ought to the next time.. and honestly i'm very thankful.. for your effort.. thanks.sighs. let me mourn over the loss of my card for a week. i miss it so much. i hope i'll be as lucky at Waimin. her card went back to her twice. oh my.. please.. bus company.. train company.. small company.. big company.. nice company.. lousy company.. kind Singaporeans.. aliens.. return it to me if it's found.. i'll be eternally grateful to you.. card where are you.. real sorry..
9:16 PM
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
tuesday.. haha grr. i lost my ez-link card today. so sad. the card.. has been with me since ( can't remember ) when.. but i know it's a long time of course. although it is like torn and tattered, the corners have 'split', exposing the inner layer and never fails to jam up the top-up machine.. i love it still.. over the years i've got feelings for it already.. ahh.. why did i lose it?! a lesson to be learnt: use a wallet. if i'm not wrong it must have dropped out from my pocket when i was on my way to school. how dreadful.. arghh.. i hope there'll be a miracle.. any kind soul who happened to pick it up somewhere.. please please return it to me.. i miss my card.. card where are you?double Physics lesson in a day.. was not bad actually.. but all i did was to stare at the board and take down whatever the teacher wrote. not very interesting right, however i'm really really glad that i didn't fall asleep. surprisingly i was able to absorb what was said.. which i usually don't.. that's good.. (:so it's confirmed.. long jump and triple jump. but hey, i don't know how to do triple jump.. how to go out there and compete haha.. so little time to train.. sure die.and i'm so sorry girls i didn't heed your advice to take up another running event.. because i think i'll be wasting the space.. i can't do it.. would rather any one of you run it.. all of you have much much more potential than me. good luck and all the best for the trial on Thursday if not Saturday!that's all for today..why why why.. why like that?
9:04 PM
Monday, May 15, 2006
haha hmm. so today was the usual long monday at school.. just that after lessons had some Chinese composition competition. wrote crap but hopefully i didn't screw it up haha
and.. i sincerely apologise for the past few very depressing posts. ( if there's anyone reading my blog that is ) haha. but well i think there's more to come in future
haha oh yes, Ms Yew announced something before she left the class. there will be no Maths lesson tomorrow because Mrs Lee wants to make up for the lesson missed last Thursday. which means, on top of her lesson, she will come in during Maths and teach. in short, 2 Physics lessons in a day. erm. haha. is that good or bad? i've got no comments. (:
but one thing, for sure, is that i'll be exhausted even before training. haha
it's nice to meet up with old friends.
7:11 PM
Sunday, May 14, 2006
HMD to all..i can't tell you in personhow much you mean to mebut all that followscomes from the bottom of my hearti'm sorry i know i've neglected you sometimesbecause of workmy passionfriendsi might have even missed a dinnerwhich held so much of a significanceto youyou always sayi don't uphold family valuesi don't blame youbut i just wanna sayyou, he and sheare the most important peoplein my lifethree of you are my number onesabove anyone elseyou don't know how bad i feelwhenever i had to forsake even if it's only a mealbecause of youi've chosen to go againstmy own wishesthough i land up in deep shit insteadyou didn't know the reason why i took that pathi wanted to do you proudbut i'm sorryi'm giving it upyou said you do understandmy worriesmy unhappinessyou didn't know howrelieved i wassince youngyou haven't shown muchappreciation towards my effortbut i know you're always the onebehind meeven that mere cup of honey you madein the late hoursor the small pat on my shoulderwhen i'm downtouched me deeply in the heartblame it on myselfi can't express myself wellyou may not know what i'm thinkingor how i feelabout younever mindas long as i dotodayon this special dayi wish for nothing butyour happinessyour healthto the most important lady in my life:THANK YOU.
7:52 PM
Saturday, May 13, 2006
thanks to those who came. thanks a million.
i'll try.
hai i don't want to be successful
cos it is somehow
measured by the number of
'A's you get in your progress report
and the number of trophies and medals
you've won
the world's just so practical
i really wanna live in my own world
where these don't matter
at all
i'll be so much happier this way
i passed by the playground
those children
the smiles and laughter
do they even know of such things as
an achievement
or being successful
how can they be so happy then?
the older we grow
the more we know
once young and innocent
now?
they said life's never a bed of roses
how true
i don't ask for anything in return
for things i've done
for effort i've put in
all i want is
just a peaceful life
but no
i don't lead one
at least for now
life's never a bed of roses..
3:09 PM
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
hai i don't wanna care anymore..
all i get at the end of the day is just disappoinment
i'm giving it all up
i know i'm useless
no doubt about that
no matter how hard i try
it doesn't get any better
my life's in a total mess
i don't know where to go
or what to do
i'm letting everyone down
i was on my way home when
this voice in my head spoke
" hey why are you like that
you can't seem to do anything right
like what on earth is wrong with you
up till now you haven't done anything to make
anyone proud
not even your parents
teachers
friends
or yourself
ultimately you're just a piece of shit
why why why
you know what
you've just lost to
none other than
yourself "
yes that's so true
i'm such a failure
i hate myself
my life
i'm sorry guys i know i've promised
to be strong
but i can't take it anymore
i'm really tired of everything
they're affecting me so badly
perhaps i'll only give it all for track
though i still can't achieve anything
the passion is still and will be there
i hope
ha nothing else is worth the time and spirit for now
cos it's just so painful
it really hurts
no hope no light
all's blur
i cried for help but
it didn't come
i can't do it myself
guess it's better to be a nobody
whom i already am
i'm giving it all up.
10:24 PM
Monday, May 08, 2006
wahh.. got tagged by Waimin haha.1. The tagged victim has to come up with 8 different points of his/her perfect lover.2. Mention the gender of his/her perfect lover.3. Tag 8 victims to join this game and leave acomment at their blogs.4. If you are tagged the second time, there is no need to do this AGAIN.5. The most impt rule: have fun doing it.1) has to be friendly to people. haha please don't give an AP look to friends or me. smile smile!2) be humble. haha cannot go around boasting about achievements or whatever.3) must be someone whom i can confide in.4) must try not to keep secrets from me. i'll be a good listener to gossips and problems and will not say it out. haha. ( honesty is the best policy hehe )5) must have faith in me? i'll be loyal and devoted to only a person at a time. haha.
6) has to be devoted to me and me only of course. hahaha.
7) er. what else can i say. erm. oh ok! may or may not be sporty. but but if does play ball games such as basketball and soccer, cannot force me to play! i'm superly afraid of balls. yeah.
8) most importantly, must be able to make me laugh, be it with jokes or lame stuff. because i love to laugh! (: haha according to Irene i'm SEA. super easily amused. so it's not difficult to make me laugh at all. hahaha.
i'm straight haha.. so it's a HE. male. guy. boy. haha.
ha yup that's 8. people listed below are my victims! (
- Georgina
- Shaoying
- Ningxin ( Yang )
- Peishi
- Shaun
- Emilee
- Fann
- Brenda [ ping!! ]
have fun people.. hahaha. (:
9:54 PM
ha what can i say at this point of time. i hadn't worried for nothing last year-
4:25 PM
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
hai what a day in school.
came home with this empty feeling within me.
it was nothing but just utter disappoinment. not with anyone else, it's myself. i've place such high hopes on it and yet once again, i've been proven wrong that having a positive mindset helps. i haven't got much confidence to start with, but that last bit disappeared with the return of the script.
the blow was no doubt great, so much so that it rained quite badly. normally i'm able to hold back my tears for my own good, however this time i managed to only do so for half an hour.
special thanks to those who stayed by my side:
Georgina for that encouraging letter,
Norine for your enlightening talk and understanding,
Ningxin and Peishi for all those lame jokes which made me laugh/smile
and of course not to forget Shaoying, Qihui and Marian for the wonderful afternoon at Tiong Bahru. although the trip there was just to have a small gathering, it made me feel a whole lot better.
THANKS.
now that i'm alone, those emotions are coming back..
but i'll be able to pick myself up again. i promise.
rain, rain, go away..
4:56 PM
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
i just read Derek's blog and really find that his posts are kinda good. especially the one today, 2nd May. it has got to be one of the most intelligent and smart entries i've ever read. seriously. it made me think about how people like you and i talk and live. makes sense totally. highly recommended. then again, after reading it, some idioms or proverbs are redundant in some ways eh?well done Derek! ( if you ever come read? anyway i tagged haha. ) erm. although his purpose was to list down the things that pissed him off, but i found it very meaningful. (:yup. that's all for today, good day everyone!
9:37 PM
jade