Saturday, February 25, 2006
today's training was okay. i finally completed the 200m sets.. argh argh argh. there's a race on sunday. 300m for everyone. why why why? why can't i drop out of it? never mind.. talk about this later.so after training Chuanmin, Peishi and i accompanied Fann go cut hair. i ended up cutting mine also. haha though not very obvious. the uncle styled Fann's hair until so cool!!! it's like so funky.. the 3 of us were clapping and cheering. wahha. me : i need a sweater.. oh my it's so COOL!!Peishi and Chuanmin: ..not funny. heh ok. then my turn to cut. in the end he styled for me also but i told him not so spiky. hahha it was a completely new hairdo i had. not very used to it but well (: Chuanmin got him to style her hair as well. free of charge! that uncle is so nice.so we headed to Jurong East Entertainment to meet the rest. stayed for awhile and left.i can't do it. i really can't. the previous time was a disaster and i don't wanna that to happen again. however i know that if i go for it once more, the result will be the same. i really can't. on that day, we'll be wearing RV on our chests. i can't imagine me in that orange outfit and participating in that event. seeing the spectators make me nervous (though they won't be focusing on me) and having other runners from other schools by my side, it's like so demoralising because for sure, i know i'm not up to even their standard. but the point is not to win. what i'm afraid is that after that day my confidence level will drop to zero. but not to say that i have a high level of it to start with. i mean hais. i don't know. all i can be certain of is that i'm gonna let everyone down. myself, coach, everyone. sorry mates, thanks for all your encouragement during training just now. guess i still can't overcome this mental barrier within me. i'll keep your lectures and advices in mind nonetheless.here's wishing RV trackers all the best.
11:06 PM
jade